Tribute to Katherine for her Graduation & Sylvia

For those old enough to remember Dragnet, I blog like Joe Friday. Just the facts M'am. Sylvia blogs like Elizabeth Barret Browning with emphasis on Barrett. Nothing is left to the imagination for all the details are bared and shared in her stories. With that in mind and as a tribute, today I'll blog like Sylvia.

I woke up early on May's fast Sunday 1990. I was feeling anxious as this was the day that I would take my "infant daughter into my arms to give her a name and a blessing". The naming was easy. Years earlier as Vicki and I were cuddling in our Sandy apartment; we talked of our dreams and aspirations, our family and our future. I was sharing how I envisioned our family and telling stories of our family yet to come. I talked of our first child, a daughter. Her name would be Katherine Anne. It seemed natural that her name would be such, because she should have a royal name. Katherine fit so well. Anne would be after her mother.

Katherine's name, already being determined, moved the stress that weighed heavily on my mind to what should I bless her with. I wanted her to have the all blessings of world but they were not mine to give. As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I pondered what would be appropriate for me to say, and would it align with what God wished for her. Ideas slowly started to creep into my mind much the way that the sun crept around the earth and over the mountains turning the sky from black to blue to brilliant yellows. And through this progression of thoughts, I felt confident of what I would say, but why were there so few things and why was there not more for me to add to the blessing.

Vicki and I chose to bless Katherine at our new ward in Ogden, Utah. Perhaps with that small act, we would quickly fit in. A new job gave us the opportunity of new adventures and developing a new ward family was one of them. We soon discovered that we had moved into a ward of great diversity, not of ethnicity but of years. Blue hairs and screaming babies seemed to be the ward demographic. The screaming would have been less intense if Sacrament meeting had not been scheduled at infant nap time. But thus it was and those with blue hair really did try to be accepting and not judgmental of the screaming members. However, it just seemed difficult to pay attention to a meeting participant when the pitch of the infant scream was more readily received by the hearing aids than the message of the speaker.

Always a comfort, family members came to support us at Katherine's blessing. At the appointed time I took Katherine to the front of the chapel. She was dressed in the Wilhelmsen baby blessing gown which was a long flowing white dress that was slicker than a greased pig at the county fair. (Sorry for the simile) I secured Katherine in my hands held her out just like I had practiced with her at home. Those around me each placed one hand under her to give her total support and one hand on the shoulder of the brother to their left. I held her steady as I felt her weight being lifted as hands joined mine. I relaxed my arm to allow others to feel the weight. I don't know from whence it came, I fought the tradition but from somewhere deep down, one hand started "the priesthood bounce." I tried to stop the bounce and concentrate on the prayer at the same time but to no avail. Stopping the priesthood bounce was like trying to turn the Queen Mary Ocean Liner around in a bathtub. It just wasn't going to happen and I had more important things to do.

In earlier years I became convinced that the priesthood bounce was not an authorized part of a baby blessing so I didn't practice that with Katherine prior to her blessing. After years of pondering, I have come to understand that the shock of the bounce on Katherine was so distressing that she started to scream on the first down motion much like we all do when riding down the first hill of a rollercoaster. I was flustered by this sudden turn of events. I panicked. I got through the naming part without much trouble and went on to the blessing. The persistent bounce now resembled a great tsunami in an futile attempt by the brethren to calm her, while her the screaming matched the swells and dips with the force of a hurricane wind. I knew I had to get this blessing done and return Katherine to the safe shores of her mother's arms to stop the screaming. Speaking from practiced memory, I blessed her to have the ability to love God and to love her neighbor. She would need no other blessings to get her through this life. The blessing ended, the bouncing stopped and as Katherine was raised (much like Pumba) in an exhibit of fatherly pride (is that a sin?) and of course tradition to show the ward members, they too were able to witness her beautiful black hair, her gorgeous dress and the rosy pink tonsils from whence the screaming origniated.

Katherine has always loved her neighbors. Since the day of her blessings, I have witnessed this love and share the following as a sample.

Early one spring morning in Alabama, I drove from the end of the cul-de-sac where our English Tudor home sat, the brilliant pink and white azaleas lining the east side of the home and the dew gently resting on the grass. The sun was a red orb rising through the humidity induced mist that hugged the earth. Little did I know what the day would bring. When I left for work, the family was asleep. Vicki being "great with Ben" was sleeping restlessly and Katherine was by herself in her upstairs bedroom that overlooked Wellington Court. Later that morning, I received a call from Vicki. She reported that she was awakened by the touch of wet feet. It seems that Katherine had awoken and choose to visit our neighbors and their dog instead of waking her mother. So she ventured off in her silk nighty and binky. After returning from her visit she climbed into bed to snuggle with her mom who received a rude awakening to the pitter patter of tiny feet on her back.

Katherine loved to stay up with Mom and Dad. Her nightly ritual included hearing a story and a song sometimes with impromptu lyrics of her favorite bible stories. Then she would kneel by her bed and say her prayers. The bedding parent had to lie with her until right before she fell asleep which for me was 10 minutes after I had fallen asleep. Failure to follow this procedure would result in the recommencement of the ritual. Better to be patient and do it once than impatient and repeat it multiple times.

One evening after work, Vicki and I had talked of one of my employee's husband who had some spots show up on x-rays of his lungs. My employee, Pat, was concerned because her husband had worked in insulation plants most of his life and this spot would most likely be a precursor to a report of cancer. That evening at bed time, I was the official bedder. Katherine and I walked up the stairway to her room. She climbed into her twin size princess bed with a pink floral canopy and laid down resting her head on the pillow. I read her a story, I sang the "Daniel in the lion's den" song and then Katherine knelt down to pray. She prayed for all the standard things and then suddenly she said "Someone is sick." This caught me by surprise and I had to think why she would say such a thing. I recalled our discussion earlier that evening, and simply said Pat's husband. Katherine offered up: "Please bless Pat's husband" and then concluded her prayer. Oh the faith of a child who loves her neighbor and pleads for a woman who doesn't know all of her friends.

Two years passed and Katherine, now five, was visiting with us at Nana and Grandpa's home. While her parents visited with the adults indoors, Katherine was outside with the children on the driveway. One neighbor child, who couldn't be a stranger because Katherine knew her name, had fallen on the driveway while roller blading. Another neighbor child was following closely behind and her roller blades ran over the fingers of the first. I happened to be watching just at this precise moment and witnessed the poor child letting out a scream of pain. One of Katherine's cousins looked on in shock, frozen in fear, with a terrified look on her face. Katherine raced to the child's side, knelt down and put her arm around her. Gently patting her back, Katherine comforted her. The young child settled and together, they discovered that the pain was more perceived than real.

At age twelve, Katherine loved to sew. She won a drawer full of county and state fair awards demonstrated primarily by blue ribbons but interspersed with "best of class", "best of show" and a few red and white ribbons thrown in for good measure. As a new young woman, Katherine wanted to perform a service project filled with good works. She had been with her younger brothers to the local library and witnessed Children's Hour Performances that sometimes included puppet shows. Witnessing a cardboard box for a puppet stage and poorly made puppets, Katherine was inspired as to how she would serve. Working with her father, they designed a puppet stage. Katherine wanted the construction to be her work. She wouldn't let her father make a cut to the PVC pipe or connect a joint. She built the stage herself and sewed the coverings with a fabric that looked like a night blue sky with yellow stars. After sewing multiple felt bodies of orange, yellow. blue and green, Katherine showed a talent for attention to detail by attaching yarn for hair, googley's for eyes, and specially made props for each puppet character for the puppet show. After performing a show for the family, Katherine delivered the stage and puppets to the library. Such a gift was a thrill for the librarians.

A young woman moved into the boundaries of our ward. Because she didn't have friends in the ward, she didn't come to church. As Beehive class president Katherine selected this young woman as one with whom she wanted to be friends. Katherine planned activities to encourage her friend to come. She called and talked with her. She would visit at her home. On mutual night, we would drive to her home in hopes that the new friend would be there and follow through on her commitment to come to the activities. This continued each week despite the results of the previous week until Katherine's friend moved.

Katherine continues to make friends that seek her out. Feelings are shared and advice is sought. Katheirne does not gossip, mock, or condemn, but invites them to join her, especially as she goes to seminary. She laughs with them and helps them find the high road in having fun and playing practical jokes without malice. Her friends love her and defend her. Even when someone jokingly gossips about Katherine being mean to another, no classmate will believe them. Her love for her friends is returned to her and such a love as she shows to her friends segues into how I have seen Katherine exhibit her love for God.

While living in Bountiful, one of Katherine's and my favorite things to do was to walk over to the school and play on the playground equipment. This school had swings, monkey bars, and a large slide for a four year old. Katherine loved this playground and especially climbing the ladder to the top of the slide and sliding down. After several trips down the slide, Katherine became somewhat more adventuresome. She tried other ways to slide down the slide. Though the details escape me, I remember seeing Katherine sliding down on her belly. I was thinking this cannot be good. As I was running over, she shot off of the slide, into the air and landed on her belly with a thump. "Are you alright?" I questioned. Her pride damaged, she gasped "I'm OK." I watched her slowly lift herself up, walk over to a bench and sit on it backwards resting her head on the backrest. I sat down at the far side of the bench and watched her. Slowly she lifted her head and noticed the Bountiful Temple mostly complete in its construction. Then softly she sang to herself, "I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday . . ." My heart melted as I looked into her heart and found how she found comfort in a time of pain.

Katherine was always frustrated by people who swore and particularly those who took the Lord's name in vain. While in sixth grade in Kingman, Arizona boys in Katherine's class would try to tease her by swearing in front of her. Katherine would sneak up behind them, grab the fleshy part of the underarm, pinch it, twist it and tell them not to swear. Once during a test, a boy sitting next to her in class forgot about Katherine not liking to hear swearing and he let out some cuss words in frustration. Katherine reached over to his desk and took his test and slid it under hers. Mrs. Gilbert walked by and asked the young man where his test was. "Katherine took it!" he said accusingly. "Well he swore" defended Katherine "and I warned him not to swear." Mrs. Gilbert reported the events to us and in a way, I think that she admired Katherine's willingness to take a stand but, taking another's test could be construed as cheating no matter the circumstances. Mom and Dad had to have a talk about appropriate behavior and although she has never taken another person's test for swearing, I am sure that she has found other ways to protect her ears and mind from profanity.

Not many people can say that they have had a current temple recommend since they were twelve. Katherine has. She has performed baptisms in Bountiful, Salt Lake, Jordan River, Mount Timpanogos, Provo, Manti, St. George, Las Vegas, San Diego, Los Angeles, Oakland and others that I am sure that I am not privy to. This opportunity came about due to the diligence of her Grandfather Heber's genealogy and her parents willingness to camp and travel to out of the way places. I have performed the baptisms at several of these places. It has been a special bond to share.

We were awed at the beauty of the interior of the San Diego Temple. Inspired by the building skills of the pioneers in the Manti Temple. Baptizing Katherine in the Salt Lake Temple brought back wonderful memories of being baptized as a boy and watching one of my friends being baptized for James Welch born July 21, 18XX. I never begrudge that it wasn't I that was baptized for James because I never would have seen that there was a person with whom I shared the same christian name, last name and birthdate. Oakland was an open baptismal font area with echoes of water splashing (including the showers). The font had a stainless steel chair above the water by the stairs where the person being baptized could then move too so they could be confirmed at the water's edge. The Mount Timpanogos temple took Katherine's recommend and cut it down and put it in a plastic sleeve like the regular patrons receive. At the St. George temple, we met some friends from Kingman who were at a wedding. The memories go on and on.

With all of those experiences, I can still truthfully say that the greatest example of Katherine's love for God, that I have seen, is the way she lives her life. God's prophet talks of the need of modest women. Katherine is fastidious in her modest dress even by choosing not to wear clothing that, although perfectly covering a body, draws attention to body parts through printed words or pictures that shouldn't have attention drawn to. The prophets say study the scriptures. Katherine studies the scriptures. Her goal is to read the Book of Mormon once for every year old that she is. She is catching up. However, Katherine doesn't read the Book of Mormon, she studies it. She has read the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. She is the one who stops us in family scripture study to say, "I don't get this." I don't have the courage to admit "I've never thought of this." And so we think and converse and search for answers to her questions.

One of Katherine's least favorite things to do is perform and have attention brought to her. I will pay when she finds out about this blog that I have written. However, Katherine understands that when she is in the service of her fellowman, she is only in the service of her God. She will perform if she feels that God's glory will be exhibited through her playing. But don't effusively praise her ability for playing, simply say "Thank you. I felt something special when you played." No other reward is so sweet to her.

The unknown side of Katherine. I had a friend in college who was very quiet. I once asked some underclassmen if they knew my friend and what they thought of him. They said he seems to be very quiet. Not much fun, a sober sort of guy. Well, still waters run deep. I didn't have a better or more fun friend and so it is with Katherine. Her demeanor is not the splash and show and excitement of the rapids. She is not the flirty, noisy, "notice me" type. Katherine is still water; quiet and reserved. She watches and observes. But under that calm water runs a deep sense of humor that is worth the wait to discover. It is the depth of the humor and her love of laughter that not many see. But this laughter, which because of her talent to observe and her capacity of empathy towards others, is without guile or harm and it will fill a lifetime with joy and happiness.

And now at the end, I want to quote Theodor Geisel who said, "Oh the places you'll go . . ." and so, Katherine will go places and lift people because she loves God and she loves her neighbor.


Happy Graduation Katherine and remember that the root of the word commencement is commence, "to start", and graduation from high school is merely a start of great things you will do in the service of your God and His children

Love,
Dad

P.S. How did I do Sylvia? (I only embellished an little bit.)